Alexis Bethel here, Inner Glow Circle’s Executive Director of Mastermind.
The coaching industry is growing rapidly – which is amazing.
But as it grows, I seem to hear more and more of the comparison game going around.
“Her website is so much better than mine.”
“She has a full practice and a waitlist – I can’t even get a few paying clients.”
“I’ll never be as good of a coach as she is.”
And I get it. I really do. I get how easy it is to go down that road, to come from a place of lack (e.g. there couldn’t possibly be enough clients out there for all of us to be successful). But it’s just not true.
And what ends up happening from this growing trend of “I’m not enough” within the coaching world is that women who left their jobs to dedicate their lives to helping people are instead taking on way too much, stretching themselves way too thin, and frankly getting desperate to do what other people are doing in hopes that they will get the same outcome.
But I’m here to tell you that’s not how it works.
So if you feel yourself falling into this boat, here are a few things to think about that may help.
- As Katie DePaola always says, “Stay in your own lane.” There really is something that you and ONLY you have to offer. Trying to be like the next girl isn’t only exhausting, it’s not going to work. Instead, stay in your lane. What is it that you LOVE to do? Is it writing a blog? Doing teleclasses? Running challenges? Pick ONE (or maybe two) that feel REALLY good to you. When you start putting your energy into things that feel aligned (and only things that feel aligned) there is so much more of you to go around.
- Really remind yourself why you got into this. Are you looking around and saying to yourself, “Wow, most of the people around me seem really happy and truly seem to be living aligned lives.” Probably not… and until that’s the case, there will ALWAYS be work to do. It seems to me that the real insecurity coaches are feeling isn’t that there are too many of us in the game, it’s that we don’t really know how to reach the people who need to work with us and to convince them that life coaching is what they need. I hear you. But that’s a way different issue to tackle than comparing yourself to someone else’s success. So why not instead focus on building yourself up, strengthening the parts of your practice that need fine tuning? THIS has nothing to do with another coach.
- Do you know how “those” coaches get so many people in their boat? People look at them and say, “Whatever it is they have, I want it, too.” These are the women (and men) who work on themselves, focus on what feels good, cut out what doesn’t and live in alignment. And when someone is truly living in alignment, it SHOWS. That is what clients are attracted to. And it doesn’t come from jealousy or comparison or desperation or trying to do everything to get clients’ attention. It comes from living authentically and a true understanding of how unique each and every single one of us is.
I want to close by saying that I get how easy it is to play the comparison game. I’ve been there. And once in a while, I’m still there. But it’s SUCH a futile game to play – you can’t possibly win. Instead, each time you feel yourself going there, remind yourself why you got into this in the first place, just how much work there is to be done in this world, and that no one has your unique message, your unique story, your unique perspective – and the world needs to hear that, too.
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