I lost my voice for an entire year.
As an elementary school teacher, I would harshly whisper my way through my days.
By Saturday, I’d be on house arrest because speaking at all was painful. No talking on the phone. No hellos to my roommates (I literally had signs in the house). And definitely no joining anyone for brunch or a drink because my vocal cords were shot.
Even now, my voice is much huskier because of it.
I knew that something was deeply wrong. None of my coworkers faced this problem. And this wasn’t my first rodeo. I had taught for four years prior.
However, the demands of this job were different. I wasn’t prepared for the physical + emotional hardship of this role.
We were told that our job was “to be the most fun person in the school.”
“YES! Finally! I’m in charge of all the fun!” I thought.
It started out grand. I sang in the hallways to the kiddos. I had boundless energy and pulled the 12+ hour days of serious physical activity + leadership programs with no holds bar.
But I burnt out. Fast. Before I even knew (because denial is NOT just a river in Egypt) my body was literally yelling it at me.
Truth: I burn fast + bright. I love the inspiration, the creation, the high of connections + love.
Truth: I wasn’t joyful all the time. I wasn’t high energy all the time. I need double the time to nourish, nurture, and regenerate for my spirit. I’m quiet. I’m introspective. For as much as I love gallivanting around hugging everyone, I need two days on my couch or in a park with a book + my journal.
The expectations were too high and this time, I had gone over the edge.
When you’re ignoring your truth, your body will tell you.
I took a new job where the pay was more but my ideas and my contributions were not valued nor heard.
Many days, tears leeched out of my eyes no matter how often I told myself it did not matter and I should not care.
I’ll say it again: When you’re ignoring your truth, your body will tell you. I left that job. I started a business but was still learning to fully embrace my truth and share it out.
When you start speaking your truth, you will have days, weeks, months and even years to spew out first. You don’t yet know how to trust your own thoughts, feelings + words.
You are learning how to:
- Speak your truth,
- Own your voice +
- Claim your power.
All of these things are coming, but treat yourself with kindness as you detox the days, months or years you have been stuffing it down.
Here’s 6 steps to walk as you practice speaking your truth.
Tune in.
Make time to listen to your deepest needs. Journal. Speak voice notes to yourself. Reverence + honor towards yourself and your process are important as you grow into deep understanding of your truth. Your body knows when you are giving it time. Make space.
Establish trust with yourself.
You’re going to have realize you are walking a path. That while you may be in process, you will have different thoughts + feelings. It is a process of REVELATION. Memories that you didn’t know you had will come to the surface. Trust this process.
Know + care for all the parts of yourself.
A client was telling me about her thoughts about her ideal weekend + it was creating a battle in her head.
One voice said, “get it together!” while another wanted her to “slow down, please.”
You’re not alone. We all have different parts of ourselves that have different needs + wants for our lives and livelihoods. That’s ok. And normal. Consider the different voices the Board of Directors for You, Inc. You must do the work to know who is sitting on your Board of Directors, because they are making BIG decisions for you.
Get seen.
Let me be clear that this is not a recipe list. You don’t need to follow these steps in order. The fastest way to know your truth (to know that you are NOT crazy) is to be seen. Have others, in a safe space, see what is true for you. Let them see your wrestle + bear witness to your life. This is essential for human life, for love + for happiness.
Find a partner in this journey that can support you (NOT A LOVER!).
A therapist. A coach. A healer of some sort that can actually support you in big ways on this journey. Having a strong mirror and someone that can hold you AND push you as you grow which is essential for big growth and for CLEARLY claiming the life that you so desire.
Start now.
Even if your voice shakes, speak. Even if you have to say words + then change them, because that, my sweet + fierce woman, is what truth-telling is about. At times, your truth will change. Speaking it means you are true to what is TRUE in this moment. In this moment. And now, in this moment. It is ok if you change your mind. You can say yes. You can say no. You can decide to change. It is ok. But you must practice knowing what is true for you.
Big love + bold laughter,
JESS
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